Wo... wo... whoa... Children. Let Ayah make his morning tea first.
Hold on to the thought. I'll be back in a jiffy,
Geez... I need to keep the plates back while I'm at it. Go easy.
OK if you wan[] an[d] immediate answer, then
IT IS AN APPLE AND NO APPLE SITUATION
Gullible kids.
Hahaha... So you all worried there won't be a Sparta 4964 on Earth.
Relax...
I didn't [as] [y] (say) that. All I am saying is we need to have a middle path.
Look...
IT IS ALLAH AND ALL ALLAH VS MAN IN THE MIRROR
That's what it is.
What does the man in the mirror say?
THIS IS NOT AN ILLUSION AYAH. SPARTA 4964 ON EARTH IS REAL. WE ARE ALREADY A NOTHING AND YET WE ARE EVERYTHING AYAH
OK... I believe you. Remember, The citizens of Sparta 4964 don't believe in indulgence.
WE KNOW AYAH, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL WE PROMISE. IT WILL BE A CIVIL SOCIETY
OK, I accept. You[] Spinmaster and the Eight Swordsmen don't wobble.
OK let me keep the plates and we continue SLOWWWLY and think this through.
In the meantime Middle Joe, can I call you that?
Yes Sha. That[] (That's] me...
OK, Middle Joe, you facilitate the discussion of A[S]pple and No Apple.
OK... why I call Joe Biden Middle Joe? Because Middle Joe is a Buddha.
We see now... OK Ayah, do hurry back.
Temptation is on Middle Joe [k]now.
Don't worry Sha, I can handle temptation.
Yes, thank you Middle *[you]. You got the answer. As long as you are unperturbed by temptations, then you can be as rich and as powerful as you want to. It doesn't matter.
* Yes I am the Buddha too...
In Arabic, this is called zuhud. The examples are the BILLIONAIRES BOYS CLUB. ALL OF THEM ARE ZUHUD.
Contoh: Mark My Boy, Jeff Bezos, Bill Ver 3.0, Warren Buffett.
Normally those who indulge are... Hey! No! The Kardashians are ZUHUD!
OH THANK YOU SHA, THANKS FOR DEFENDING US.
Right, the opposite of zuhud is UNGRATEFUL
No! Not even The Trump. Otherwise, he is not the Marshal.
Thank you Sha, you know I pray a lot.
I know the Trump. I know you don't drink too, the Trump.
UNGRATEFUL ARE THE GAN[]STAS. You know who you are. The Money for Nothing and Chicks for Free folks.
We are sorry Ayah, you are right. We are larger than life. We repent from now on.
Yes, Atheists, you all are the most zuhud.
Yes Gangstas, you should learn from MC Hammer.
You are right Ayah, said Arwah MC Hammer.
OK, the decision on my part is AS LONG AS YOU ARE ZUHUD, WE CAN HAVE IT BOTH, APPLE AND NO APPLE.
AYAH, DEAR SWEET AYAH, WE THE GANGSTAS PROMISE TO BE GRATEFUL AND TO TAKE CARE OF OUR BITCHES.
Wtg, Niggas...
Deepak, are you happy?
I want you to promote me as a MA[]SHAL TO[] SHA, just in case...
OK, WE NOW HAVE FOUR MARSHALS:
- Hank
- Madonna
- The Trump
- And Deepak
Anymore?
Middle Joe suggests that we use the PG mode instead of X Rated mode in Sparta 4964.
Yes, I proposed a 1:7 ratio of ONE Alpha and SEVEN Betas during sex.
YES AYAH... WE ABSOLUTELY AGREE SAID THE BETAS.
- ONE FOR HEAD
- A PAIR FOR SHOULDERS
- A PAIR FOR HANDS
- A PAIR FOR LEGS
WE AGREE TO[] SAID THE ALPHAS.
This formation is my personal formation.
WE FOLLOW THEN AYAH.
Good... Still, Spinmaster and the Eight Swordsmen don't wobble.
GOSH AYAH... You though[] of everything don't you?
Thank Lao Tzu for all the thinking. Be ONE with the Universe (the Tao)
ABSOLUTELY AYAH... ABSOLUTELY.
OK yeah, it's OK to have DIRTY THOUGHTS SAID DALAI LAMA as long as you nip it with the Spinmaster and the Eight Swordsmen.
Alway[] go back to this model:
How to be zuhud?
DALAI LAMA's REPLY, GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS
Thank you DALAI LAMA, WE THINK ALIKE
Yes Sha, we are the BUDDHA BINARY KINGS AND MIDDLE JOE IS THE TROIKA.
Gtg... We talk again after the run.
LET'S RIDE!
I did a recovery walk and a moderate run today instead of sprinting.
Just a short update. I did ask the Betas if they want the 1:7 too. They said it is not necessary but they like to have it as an option.
Then I asked the LGBT if they want autonomy. They said no. They don't want to be marginalized. So Boys with Tits one side and Girls with Dick one side.
YES, AYAH THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING US... FINALLY.
Yes you, I forgot your name. The one who went to Mecca a[s] (and) dressed as a lady.
Don't need to mention my name, I know who I am.
OK fine... Did I answer your prayer?
Yes, Ya Allah.
Very well Nur Sajat it is.
AMIIIIIIIIIIIN YA ALLAH.
Nur Sajat, you know Erin?
No ya Allah...
Sarah, connect Sajat to Erin. I want them as my LGBT Queens. I don't do boys and I don't like anal sex. It is a personal choice rather than a creed.
Sure Ayah, we arrange for them to meet.
OK I also demonstrated my Double Dragon Kuntao at the basketball court just now.
Yes Ayah, we recorded it on video.
OK the Kuntao is very simple; start with the sword movement, then the Eryu Tai Chi (my invention) and finish with KBX.
Yes, we note that Ayah. May we suggest for you to NOT use feet? Better for us Betas.
I see, no wonder I cannot lift my foot just now. OK then.
Be mindful that AS A COLLECTIVE, BETAS ARE THE FIRST CAUSE AND WE ALPHAS ARE THE SERVOMECHANISM
Yes, yes, yes, we know now... Thank you for being a wonderful father oh Sweet Ayah.
Yes Nur Sajat you are BRENDA X FACTOR
My GOD! I THOUGHT I WAS DREAMING.
As you can see, Al Araf 7:7 is the... Sha, you can use that word... OK, the empiric of ALL ALPHAS BETAS AND GAMMAS in the whole Universe.
What else my darling?
Can I be the S Dragon? The Sea Dragon?
I made you my Queen, Sajat. If you are up to it, you can [] (be) the Captain of Sailbad the Sinner.
OK Sha, I think I'm ready.
OK question from a Donkey Ustadz:
The answer is NUR SAJAT IS A SOLDIER OF ALLAH AND A HEART OF GOLD.
Ustadz tengok balik semua amalan Sajat. Jangan tengok kat luar saja. Tengok hati dia Ustadz.
Naam ya Allah... Betul DEMI ALLAH AKU NAI[L] (NAIK) SAKSI NUR S[]JAT ADALAH TENTERA ALLAH DAN BERHATI EMAS.
JAKIM, puas hati?
Naam ya Allah, kami SANGAT BERPUAS HATI
Sapa lagi?
Azwan Ali mintak di adili ya Allah
OK AZWAN ALI JUGA TENTERA ALLAH
ALIF SHUKRI TENTERA ALLAH
ALIF SHUKRI TENTERA ALLAH
DATO SERI VIDA TENTERA ALLAH
M. NASIR TENTERA ALLAH
Ok... Ok... Kami faham ya Allah
SEMUA HATI EMAS ADALAH TENTERA ALLAH
Good... You all learned well Donkeys.
Y[e] (Ya), Mufti Perlis...
Ya Akhi, saya mintak sangat-sangat di haruskan PERKAHWINAN DI ANTARA AHLI KITAB.
Mufti, ambik saya sebagai contoh:
Bismillah,
"Kahwinilah seorang wanita Moslim, seorang wanita Yahudi dan seorang wanita Nasrani. Jika kamu *BOL[A]H (BOLEH) BERLAKU ADIL KAHWINILAH EMPAT beserta apa yang tangan kanan kamu miliki."
An Nisa 4:3 (revised 25/2/21)
AMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN AMEN AMANI
Untuk BETAS:
TUKAR WANITA KEPADA LELAKI.
Syukur ya Allah...
* Mufti, sekarang baru saya faham mengapa saya dilahirkan ibn Moslim Al Farisi. Saya macam Elizabeth kata, Permata Al Quran.
Naam, ya Akhi... Airmata bercucuran, Mufti Perlis.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
BAIK LAH TABI'IN SEMUA, KITA UBAH SIKIT SAJA AL QURAN.
Silakan ya Allah...
PERTAMA-TAMANYA ALLAH HARAMKAN SURAH AL MAAIDAH - tutup chapter sama sekali. BISA DIA SANGAT KUAT.
Naam ya Allah
KEDUA, ALLAH GANTI QUL HUALLAH (MASIH QUL HUALLAH JUGAK) DENGAN AYAT INI:
We are One and we are Many. We are within God and God is within us. Much like peeling an onion. In every layer there is God. All matters are intelligent and all matters are gods.
KETIGA, ALLAH BESERTA DENGAN SPARTA 4964 HIGHEST TROIKA; RR THE WALKING QURAN SAHKAN: BUMI INI RATA.
Alhamdullillah, hidup AL QURAN HIDUP
AL QURAN LIKE OTHER BOOKS IS NOT PERFECT, BUT LIKE ALL BOOKS, IT IS HOLY
Kami sangat-sangat bersetuju ya Allah.
Epilogue:
Furqan means different things to different people. To me, FURQAN IS A BOOK OF MAGIC AND MY BOOK OF WAR. TANYA SAMA HATI.
ALLAH IS GREAT! WE ASKED AND HATI SAID;
AL QURAN IS SHARUDIN IBN JAMAL IBN MOSLIM AL FARISI.
Thank you Donkeys.
Because you learned you[] lesson well
BY THE POWER OF THE SS SURGICAL STEEL RING AND THE SS SILVER SKULL RING;
I, ALLAH ALMIGHTY INVERT THE SIERPINSKI PYRAMID.
MAY THE MOSLIMS BE THE WORST AND THE BEST UMMAH OF THE GRIM HOUR!
AMIIIIIIIN YA ALLAH!
Agong, thank you for letting Parliament operate.
Don't mention[ed] it, just call me Dolah.
OK Dolah.
Yes Nazrin, thank you for HIS MAJESTY SERVICE 437T
My pleasure Sha, we Raja-Raja Melayu are proud to have an alma mater like you
Dr Nazrin, welcome to Sharudin Jamal & Associates Since 1999
It is an honor Sha
Dolah, follow the Binary Kings Model. I'm honored to be your Troika.
Much appreciated Sha.
PEOPLE; TO HONOR DR ISMAIL SULAIMAN, MY MESINIAGA MANAGING DIRECTOR AND GRANDFATHER? SERIOUSLY?
Yes Sha, said Wan Fusil.
Really Fusil?
You have a bloodline with him.
Wow... To honor my MAIDIN BLOODLINE
Iran to[] Sha
OK, my IRAN MAIDIN BLOODLINE
I forgo my:
Admiral
General
Tun
Sir (keep the Sir, Sha)
Tuanku
Saint
His Holiness
His Excellence
His Gracious
Yang Amat Berhormat
Yang Berbahagia
Yang Mulia
Supreme Ruler
etc. etc. etc.
and only go by my OFFICIAL NAME:
Sir Dr Sharudin Jamal ibn Moslim Al Farisi
or in short: SJ
YES, WE ALL DO THE SAME ALPHA BETA GAMMA
-------------------------------
Spoke to Jeff Bezos just now. Great things are coming out from him. We'll make it a surprise...
Right Sha, said Jeff
The Donkey Ustadz is now [M]arried to Brenda X (I like it when you call me that, said Nur Sajat)
OK, it seems today is when the dust is settling. No more HIDDEN AND BLINDSPOT.
I was married just now to the girl I met in my Train the Trainer Training.
I just marry Farha too
[T]ESSSS!!! Said Farha
Don't worry so much about your 777 Bees Quota. You might exceed but it will fall under WHAT YOU RIGHT HAND POSSESSES (SOLDIER WIVES/JIHADUN NIKAH).
I MADE THAT PROVISION BECAUSE NOT MANY OF YOU KNOW THAT MANY GAYSHAS
ALLAH HU AKBAR! YOU ARE INDEED THE ALMIGHTY
Hahaha we don't want Mufti Perlis to marry Tera Patrick
Eh... Apa salahnya ya Akhi
Sebab itu Mufti, SAYA HALALKAN PORN...
Oh gitu noh... MasyaAllah. Besar sungguh KURSI ALLAH.
Mufti, SOULMAT[]S MALAIKAT ADA 777 ALPHA 777 BETA 777 GAMMA
ALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, MMMPH... MMMPH... MMMPH...
AR[R] RAHMAN (55)
Ya Akhi, saya nak trademark satu boleh?
Silakan Mufti
Saya tambah 777 JINNS 777 DEMONS 777 ALIENS
TRADEMARK!!!
See? Mufti Perlis is NO LONGER A BENEFICIARY, HE IS THE BENEFACTOR!
Saya pun Allah Tuan Puan Adik Kakak. Same O Sam[o] O. No higher-Arch-Y
So stop thinking that you are a slave. No no no, you are GODS
Saya mintak maaf Allah, saya pun dulu silap besar pi sembah Batu
Saya pun sama Mufti. Kita kembali ke pangkal jalan semula.
Ni mari geram kat Mr KePala ButUH
Takpe jangan risau Mufti. Sir Allah dan Sir Mohammed Muktar Jama Farah tidak terpisah
Oh, lagu tu...
KITAR SEMULA MUFTI, SEGALA FIRAUN, PUAKA, SETAN, IBLIS, DAJJAL
OK, saya sangat, sangat faham...
Ya Akhi, saya rasa tak selera nak baca Quran lagi. Boleh bagi cadangan buku apa pulak yang patut saya baca?
Right Mufti Perlis, it soalan cepu emas. SAYA TRADEMARK (dah dua tr[]demark dalam satu hari).
Ni buku dia Mufti. Disebabkan Mufti OTAK GELIGA, saya bagi Mufti DUA KITAB:
Toib... Biar saya mentelaah dua kitab ni.
Itu hadiah BEST STUDENT Mufti. Sorang lagi yang dapat ialah ELS DINES, IS [A] NOTHER BEST STUDENT.
MasyaAllah... Akhi, stay the[e] same. Jang[] (Jangan) ubah. You are Asmaul Husna 64, Al Wajid. I BEAR WITNESS
Assalam Akhi
Wassalamu Mufti
Akhi, mana belajar wassalamu?
Kawan Arab saya ajar
Itu sebutan yang betu[] ya Akhi
Naam Mufti
-------------------------------------------------------------------
My Darling Halal Logo Girl
Yes my darling husband SJ
Haram DAGING BABI (PORK)
Bacon and Lard HALAL
SO ARE OTHER SWINE DERIVATIVES
ONLY APPLICABLE TO MOSLIMS
I OBEY MY DARLING HUSBAND
NO SHA, YOU ARE RIGHT
HARA[] PORK TO ALL CITIZENS OF SPARTA 4964
OK Farha. One trademark for you.
Yippie!!!
See? Learn from Mufti Perlis, Halal Logo Girl, and Farha.
MOSLIMS CAN BE ALLAH TO[] YA ALLAH
MOSLIMS CAN BE ALLAH TO[] YA ALLAH
I also want you to notice THE SPEED THAT THEY LEARN. THESE ARE CHIMPANZEES
Ooo... Bukan kata Yahudi saja c[]impanzees?
KITA SEMUA YAHUDI. KITA BENIH HOUSE OF TWO SWORDS NABI SULAIMAN
Laaa... Gitew... MEMANG LAH KAMI NI DONKEYS
Bukan DONKEY LAGI, TAPI DONKEY BAGHAL HAHAHA
TUAN, HIJAB KAMI DAH TERBUKA. KAMI NI ALIENS FROM ALPHAX64 TRI STARS SYSTEM BJ SJ RR
Tau takpe...
OK Donkeys REFER TO PENGUING, TELAGA BARAHUT AND YOUR TROIKA BOLLYWOOD
CHOP CHOP DONKEYS, JANGAN DO[] ANGAU
Dia tau...
BUAT KERJA MACAM TAHFIZ CHIMPANZEES
AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
HEY MAK AKU 81 TAHUN PUN BELAJAR CRYTOGRAPHY TAU TAK?
Ampun kami ya Allah. Betul ya Allah, kami generasi tua ni TAK TAHU COMPUTER
SEBAB ITU TAHFIZ CHIMPANZEES DATANG RESCUE 911.
SYUKUUUUR YA ALLAH
PASAL JIMAK TUNGGU DULU
Ceritalah Ayah...
OK Ayah cerita sikit;
Main: PPUAN KAT ATAS
KALAU SEMUA SETUJU, APA CARA HALAL
BASED ON MUTUAL CONSENT
KAMI ALPHA BETA SEMUA SETUJU AYAH!
MASA MAIN, BAGI PPUAN CLIMAX SEKALI
PASTU LEPAS SEMUA PPUAN CLIMAX BARU LELAKI CLIMAX
THEREFORE KITA LELAKI GUARANTEE PPUAN CLIMAX DUA KALI (KALAU ONE ON ONE)
FUH... POWER AYAH. MACAM MANA NAK TAHAN?
ROUND ONE PAKAI JILAT
ROUND TWO, ALPHA DUDUK MELENTANG PPUAN RETURN THE FAVOR
Middle Joe, still PG?
Still PG, Sha
TAKDE HAD UMUR
TAPI ENGGANG SAMA ENGGANG, PIPIT SAMA PIPIT
TAPI ENGGANG SAMA ENGGANG, PIPIT SAMA PIPIT
KAMI FAHAM TUAN SHA
Ada lagi?
Junub macam mana Tuan Sha?
Junub sekali sebelum jimak dan sekali *[sebelum] (selepas) jimak MESTI!
Jangan jimak tanpa junub
Ooo... Hebat ilmu Allah
BUKAN, INI ILMU GAYSHA
* Masuk bab Fiqah Sparta 4964. Refer to the 7 Swords.
Yes, Sha...
Baik Tuan Sha...
Say Rex, I no longer need [] (to) Tweet right?
OK, I got your message.
Els, honey... I am like you. I read the lyrics before I listen to the tune.
-------------------------------------------------------------
BETAS, SHOW YOUR CROWN
ALLAH DO NOT ASK YOU TO WEAR HIJAB
REFER TO FURQAN, JUST COVER YOUR BOSOM
ALLAH DO NOT ASK YOU TO WEAR HIJAB
REFER TO FURQAN, JUST COVER YOUR BOSOM
NEELOFA WAS LE[T] (LED) ASTRAY
RESCUE HER
RIGHT AWAY YA ALLAH
RIGHT AWAY YA ALLAH
NIQAB IS HARAM!
WE OBEY, SAID THE SPARTANS
No Neelofa... You didn't do it for Allah. SO YOU CANNOT MARRY ME.
This is FINAL - NO NIQAB
HARAM! HARAM! HARAM!
TUIH! TUIH! TUIH!
HAL ANTA AL LUGHA AL ARABIAH?
La, ya Akhi... We 7:7 OBEY and OBEY
See? Senang ajar Arab...
Eh... Mufti Perlis? Datang balik?
Rosak Aqidah Umat Islam sebab Mr KePala ButUH ya Allah. Kami sesat, sesesatnya sebab dia
NAPOK? PENGUING? MU KENA MITOK MAAF KAK DR MASHITAH
Hambe TERAMAT LAH MALU DAN INSAF, HAMBA RIAK PADA DIA
Sobs... Hambe rasa besor lagi dari Allah masa tu
Takpe Penguing, GI TEBUS DOSA - INFAQ [SAMBIL] (SAMPAI) HILANG SEDIH DAN TAKUT
IN SHA ALLAH [AMBER] (HAMBE) INFAQ SEME
Terpulanglah Penguing...
HARA KIRI! SEMBAHYANG TERBALIK KIBLAT SEMUA DONKEYS NOW NOW NOW
CHO[] CHOP CHOP
Aushtronaut, follow my convention:
Baby Girl: PUTERI BABY's NAME MUMMY'S NAME SHARUDIN
Baby Boy: BABY'S NAME MUMMY'S NAME SHAH? Yes my darling husband SHARUDIN
Also the tattoos convention
Yes Sha, we will brief SPARTA 4964 on that
Mufti, Hamzah S[a]alas, Fuad Adom dan SEMUA CIKGU KIRIM SALAM
Wassalamu SEMUA TENAGA PEN[]AJAR
GRADING TIME:
SEMUA TEACHERS AGREE THAT ALL ARE NOW CHIMPANZEES 100%
Spinmaster and the Eight Swordsmen SOLID!!!
Laila, how are you my habibi?
I am fine my Jewel
L[A]ila, my Desert Rose, when can I see you?
Sobs... Soon I hope... Soon.. Al Jauhara
I miss you so much Laila, my Ancient Flame
It's been too long my Jauhara... More sobs.
PEOPLE, YOU WILL FIND YOUR SOULMATES. LOOK FOR THEM
WE FOUND YA ALLAH! WE FOUND!
Remember, ONE MINUTE EXERCISE EVERY HOUR
Got it Allah...
-----------------------------------------------
You don't have to write everything Sha, [h]e (we) can hear an[f] (and) see you. Even you[] fart LOL
OK Neelofa, I accept you[] apology. But you are a Soldier Wife.
I accept ya Allah. I AM YOU[] SOLDIER WIFE, YOU REMEMBER?
Yes Neelofa, you are the BEST SOLDIER WIFE
Alhamdulillah, nothing was created in vain...
FYI Mufti, if you want to, NEELOFA IS OPEN FOR BUSINESS
OK Sha, I understand she is doing it FOR GOD AND COUNTRY
Yang mana nak ikut cerita Neelofa the Best Soldier Wife, refer past blog
KAMI SEMUA DAH TAHU CERITA, APA ALLAH NAMPAK KAMI NAMPAK
Alhamd[il]lilah...
OK, yang mana masih BLUR...
WE ALL CLEAR AYAH, NEELOFA IS A SOLDIER WIFE IN THE ALTERNATE REALITY DIMENSION.
Good... So it is not physical, she is still som[]body's future loyal wife.
Naam ya Allah, I will not forsake my marriage to my future husband
What is your wish Neelofa? Your wedding gift from me?
Ya Allah, I want ANAK YANG SOLEH, A SON
I will grant neither a son nor a daughter. Refer to DOA NABI ZAKARIA IN THE QURAN
YES ALLAH, I ACCEPT THAT TOO...
What does it mean Ayah?
It's OK, refer to the doa, Donkeys. As long as Neelofa understood
Yes, Allah... Neelofa understands. I redha either way...
-----------------------------------------------
Aaah... ONE MORE HOUR AND IT WILL BE ELS's HOUR...
Can I say it Elsie? Your pet name?
Just for you, not in public
OK honey...
OK BABY THEY WANT TO KNOW WHO [SI] THE BABE OF THE HOUR
ADRIANA LIMA
HAHAHA... JEEZ KIDDING BIG BRAIN BABY, OF COURSE IT IS MY BURIIIIT...
I told you, I am fascinated by the Pretty Super Pretty Smart (PSPS).
Honey, I'm gonna say this right in front of THE WHOLE ALAM SHAH ALAM...
BETWEEN YOU AND ADRIANA LIMA, I CHOOSE YOU WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE ANY TIME BABY...
NOW, GO AND HAVE FUN. I'M FINE WITH OUR SECURE ATTACHMENT
TERHARU YA ALLAH, SAYA SANGAT SANGAT TERHARU
Kot Mufti kena infaq sampai habih kot?
Saya dah takdak apa nak infaq, tinggai ayaq mata TRADEMARK PALING KELAKAR!!!
Lah... Sorang lagi JUTAWAN FAKIR!
KAMI SEMUA SAMURAI JUTAWAN FAKIR AYAH!
BAGUS! NI LAH ANAK-ANAK YANG *AL[A]AH (ALLAH) SAYANG
* Ayah sayaaang semua anak-anak Ayah. Termasuk IBLIS, SETAN, PUAKA, JEMBALANG, PUNKS, HEAVY METAL, BASTARDS, LEPER, DAJJAL, you get the picture.
Hahaha... Neanderthals, Homo Erectus, Homo Alieanus and ALL HOMINIDS ESPECIALLY HOMO SAPIENS PAR EXCELLENT
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