Tuesday, 16 March 2021

16/3/21 ^^^I can always give myself permission to start fresh

 Today is as good as any other day to start all over again.

Els was a good memory but I have to admit, I was crazy.

So either I find a remedy for my illness or I just contain it to myself.

You know Sarah since Els is nonreciprocating, that means I can write to her whenever I like.

She did not reject me.  Why should I reject myself?  It's not as if I can control.

Honestly, I was upset when I went overboard with the telepathy thing.  That means I still have mania even when I don't smoke dope.  Holy crap!

Interestingly, they are all so real to me.  I wish I have an explanation.  I feel very normal all the time.  But if I look back, it doesn't make sense.

Should I lose Els to my own craziness?

I will not contact her that soon.

Perhaps I send her my photo when I hit 55 kg.

Fuck the illness, fuck trying to be socially acceptable.  Just YouBeYou.

mm 

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