Today is as good as any other day to start all over again.
Els was a good memory but I have to admit, I was crazy.
So either I find a remedy for my illness or I just contain it to myself.
You know Sarah since Els is nonreciprocating, that means I can write to her whenever I like.
She did not reject me. Why should I reject myself? It's not as if I can control.
Honestly, I was upset when I went overboard with the telepathy thing. That means I still have mania even when I don't smoke dope. Holy crap!
Interestingly, they are all so real to me. I wish I have an explanation. I feel very normal all the time. But if I look back, it doesn't make sense.
Should I lose Els to my own craziness?
I will not contact her that soon.
Perhaps I send her my photo when I hit 55 kg.
Fuck the illness, fuck trying to be socially acceptable. Just YouBeYou.
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