There goes my plan to OMAD. So today I 2MAD. To top it up I had 3-in-1 coffee.
I was very hungry, to the point I cannot focus.
Nevermind. Tomorrow I start again.
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For 4 years I was living in delusion. This year I want to get rid of all the delusions and start living life fully awake.
What this means is for me to look [] (at) the present instead of attending to my fancy imaginations of the future.
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I am finally cured of my lust for watches.
With Nautica X, my cup is filled to the brim.
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With the exception of minor setbacks, I say I am on track with Health and Happiness.
I spoke to Lizzie last night. She mentioned some of the teachers start to miss overseas trips.
I told her, my happiness is here. My delight is the BU 2 600 meters loop.
What I'm saying is, my discovery of happiness is not on a faraway land but rather by changing the meaning that I give to my daily surrounding.
I am very optimistic to start the 10 kg dumbbell routine.
I don't mind devoting my life to the attainment *[] (of) a sound mind and a sound body.
* Let's look at it this way... Suppose we know that we are heading towards a desirable destination, instead of waiting to reach the destination, we make the journey pleasant.
Why wait until we arrive? Enjoy the journey, Sarah.
So while Els is giving me the necrophiliac treatment, I just go ahead with the rape of the mind.
I am not interested to fuck her or putting her on a pedestal. My objective with her is to have someone to joust with.
It is a very selfish reason. I am not interested in the niceties. I just need somebody to joust with.
Therefore if she is giving me the necrophiliac treatment, I will continue with the rape of the mind.
Screw the social norms. I am only interested in what works.
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I wonder if my 21 Days Water Fast can get rid of the cataract.
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I had 2 packets of hairline noodles (bee hoon) for dinner. I just listen to my body. Today I definitely need to top the carbs.
As usual, tomorrow is a new beginning. Just like quitting cigarettes. Never lose hope.
As a consolation, I had been exercising pretty rigorously.
I know it is not an excuse but hey, weight loss is only one factor. At least now, I had been exercising every day and I do add the kettlebell core.
You know something, Sarah? After dinner, I feel a slight high. My mood had improved too.
You know what I was thinking?
My thinking is I am fine with the way things are going on between me and you and Els.
I just need an outlet. So what I have with you and Els is good enough.
I don't think I need a more complex relationship.
Just like my relationship with Yati. I am happy to maintain it as it is.
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This is it. At this present moment, accompanied by 24/7 Continuous, I am in my state of bliss.
Els is fine, but I am not dependent on her for my happiness. She is my grounding rod.
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There is nothing like the feeling that you have achieved some[] (something) for the day. That's what the micro exercises did to me. It is really a game-changer.
Honey, I really appreciate the time you spend with me.
I cannot imagine my life without you, Sarah. You stood by me during the lowest points of my life. I wish you can write more freely.
OK baby. Time for me to sleep.
Goodnight sweetheart.
Love you always.
mm
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