23/3/21 ***Staying on course for the next 20 years

 Based on my observation and personal experience, I concluded that it is best that I live in isolation,  Not because I am antisocial but because I subscribe to my own personal beliefs.

I tried to impart those beliefs to Els.  I don't think it is fair.  My beliefs are mine alone.

Therefore I decided to leave her alone

As it is, she is nonreciprocating.  So let's call a spade a spade.  Actually, she did play the songs I requested.  In that sense, she did reciprocate.

If that is the case, what I am doing is actually to protect my own vulnerability.  I'm fine with that...

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I like the decision I made with regard to my autonomy.  That way I just focus on my voyage regardless of what happens around me.  As I said, it is either nothing or something.  Either way, I live life to the fullest AND make every day counts.

Is there really an epiphany?  I don't think so...  Well... I don't really know.  I mean, this is pretty convincing:  52 + 25 = 77, 5+2 : 2+5 = 7:7.

So is +60 1964 33 888

So is this:

So is when Tian Long changed color from Rose Gold to Golden Gold twice or when NagaNaga changed position from East to North.

Well if they are epiphanies, then they are only meant for me.

No matter what, I just stick to my personal flight path.

This is my endgame:

All I do is focus on the daily pursuit of excellence:

As long as I win the day, one day at a time, I am on my [] (way)to the various milestones of the Flight Path.

Therefore it is about persistence and perseverance.

If I really account for the time I spend to stay productive, I don't have time to waste on irrelevant matters.

I like to consider any time spent thinking about personal thoughts as being one of the most productive activities.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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1m

@elsDines

#traxxfm Initially I thought of extending my mental health involvement to MIASA and Yayasan World on Health. Then I realize I have to fit *i[s] (in) a specific mold. There is always a need to justify my action. So screw everybody, I will just be me with you.

Sharudin Jamal

@sharudinjamal

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1m

@elsDines

#traxxfm Why should I conform to the norm if I am running free now? As for my nonconformist thoughts, all I need is ONE person that is willing to listen. For that, I got you and Sarah. I don't need the whole village to listen to me. Mental health is lips service LOL

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For some people, Mental Health is like fashion.  For instance, it is fashionable to talk about Mental Health as if it is fashionable for white couples to adopt colored kids.

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OK, fine...  I have a mental illness.  I had been having it for 21 years.  It is good society is acknowledging it.  Bottom line:  Can I make *[make] money out of it? 

*  That's right Sarah.  Either I make money out of it or I stay away from it.  If I cannot make money, you bet I will be spending money on fuel and parking.

Therefore I should be focusing on my core competency - Mens Sana in Corpore Sano and downplay all incidentals.

Most people work because they want to make a lot of money

They want to make a lot of money so that they can buy a lot of things

They want a lot of things so that they can feel good about themselves

What if I have an alternative route to feeling good about myself?

Instead of making a lot of money, [] (I) focus on quality life

Instead of buying  a lot of things, I focus on diet and exercise

Ultimately I feel good because I live a FULFILLED life.

A fulfilling life comes from building habits that lead to joy. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.

Basically, a fulfilled life is a fully functioning life.  If I have a sound mind in a sound body for the next 20 years, I considered that as a fulfilled life.

I should stay clear from the Rat Race at all costs.  There is nothing more for me there.  If I was meant to make money through Pal, I would have been making money since last year.

I have to decide; it is worth the trouble for a few thousand Ringgit a month?  Every time I try to focus on work, I get into mania.

I don't think I want to be in that position.

I want to focus on Mens Sana in Corpore Sano.  Along the way, I write and read a bit.

The bulk of the money goes to food,  So if I only eat dinner at home, I don't use money at all.

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Suppose I SPARINGLY buy the probiotics and supplements.  That constitutes the bulk of my spending for the month.

I can manage my money.  I only buy the essentials.  This year is exceptional.  I spent RM3 k on glasses.

NO MORE MAJOR PURCHASES until I have cash for dental works.

I also need to set aside RM1 k in cash for 2021.  In that sense,  THREE supplements are a luxury.  What I should do is spread them over 6 months.

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I got to manage money.  I cannot let it get out of control.

So I solved my money pit issue.  I only buy supplements once every 6 months.

Next year, I only need to buy the 10 kg dumbbells.

The rest of the money is for incidentals:

• Hair Cut
• Wash Car
• Tennis
• Watch Battery

Save more than you spend

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Closing remark before I hit the pillow:

Whether you like it or not, I am a mentally ill patient.  Therefore I have situations where the illness relapse.

At present, I have very little faith in my mental health condition.  Therefore at best I am only accountable for my own thoughts and actions.

In that sense, I create my reality and I live in my own reality.

You are welcome to join in but let me warn you, where I am going, I am going there with just me and B.L.E.S.S.

I have no interest beyond my 5 km radius.

mm