Thursday, 18 March 2021

18/3/21 ^^^Finally I accept that I have a mental condition

 According to SOCSO, I am a Person With Disability (PWD).

I am not entirely invalid.  I can still think rationally.  What I cannot handle is the dopamine surge.  Hence I cannot handle excitements.

Therefore I need to contain myself and do damage control by only confining myself to the blog.

The furthest I go is tweeting and emailing Els.

So, since I scope my social parameter to just the blog and Els, I should not meddle with External Affairs.

This illness is not an either-or situation.  While it affects my judgment, at the same time it increases my ability to make an analytical observation and to develop a high sensory acuity.

So while I have to discard some of my thoughts as absurd, other things like the epiphanies are pretty much thought-provoking.

Things like the ability to see through a mathematical model are pretty amazing.  Same with the ability to see patterns a[s] (and) to form correlations are both pretty amazing.

It is as if I ate the Fruit of Knowledge and it is both a poison and elixir.

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So can I rely on my thoughts?  This is both an apple and no apple situation.  I say, thoughts while I was in mania are heavily influenced by the dopamine surge.  It is like your mind on drugs.  Certainly, I will not rely on it

How can you tell?  They are written in capital letters, bold, multi-colored, and the biggest fonts.

Other than that, the contents are pretty somber.

mm

 

      

 



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