>>>#31/3/21 I was crazy because I cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is imagined

 To me everything is real.  That is the root cause of my delusions.  If I can solve this issue, I am on my road to recovery.

I need to stop having false beliefs.

As the first step, I got to stop believing in the afterlife. My future outlook stops in 2041 when I am 77.

I am not responsible for any vision beyond 2041.  I'll cross the bridge when I get there.

Until then 2041 is my crossing line.

Even Sailbad the Sinner is meant to sail until 2041.

I had decided to go on a 20 years voyage.  Along the way, I will complete 4 years of 2 Half Marathons; 2024, 2029, 2034, and 2041.  No frills, no spectators, no fancy charades; just me and the road.

Therefore besides losing 40 kg, fasting for 21 days, running 10 km, and running 21 km; my goal for this year is to cut off from Els.

Avril is singing Complicated on the radio.  That's right Avril, I need to make things simple, not simpler.

I have to call a spade a spade.  Els is nonreciprocating.  Not only that, I HATE this current Evening Drive     lineup with Auto in the picture.

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OK, enough of the long-term planning.  Now is for the short-term goals.  Basically, I still have a chance to cut 5 kg by 12/4/21.

I can talk about it or I can do something about it.

I need to get rid of this deadman's curse from my mind.

I also need to get rid of Els.  That is ONE MAJOR DELUSION.

mm