Saturday, 27 March 2021

27/3/21 ***The wakeup call

 Basically, I should do my best not to be crazy.

Hanging on to Els is actually a crazy action.  I should decide to move on.

If my goals are to be thin and fast, then I should just stick with a sound mind in a sound body.  My problem is I want to have a relationship when in the truest sense I actually want to be alone.

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I should not pursue my relationship with Els any further.  It is not reciprocating.  Furthermore, I am a loner.  I like being by myself doing my own thing.

I was never a social animal.  I'm not crazy, this is the way I'm wired.

I like being on my own, doing my own thing with a friend like Yati on the side.  That constitutes my socializing.

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This mental illness has to stop.  I believe I can stop it when I stop trying to fit in.

TraXX and Els are actually my attempt to fit in.  Just like Facebook.

Should I decide to be all by myself with only a handful of people to deal with, I will be fine.

mm


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