My darling sweetheart Els,
It is always a great joy being in contact with you again. While I was away, I think about you a lot. As a matter of fact, I keep a daily journal of my thoughts about you while I was away. At the same time, by being away, I managed to gather my thoughts particularly about my mission to be cured of this dreaded bipolar.
This past week had been blissful. I managed to regulate my sleep again. All my life I had been nocturnal. Well, all I do is flip the switch. Instead of sleeping at 4:30 am, I now wake up at that time. From a late sleeper, I am now an early riser!
I am steadily progressing in my 10 km training. That is the beauty of waking up early. I get to exercise before sunrise. It is one of life's greatest gifts. It is so intoxicating.
I had successfully ward of sugar and starch too. It was not easy. Initially, I relapsed. Nevertheless, now that I overcome my sugar addiction, I somehow like it very much. I don't even miss eating rice at all although occasionally I thought of the 3-in-1 coffee.
It is indeed a miraculous occurrence to finally managed to tackle the dopamine fluctuation head-on.
I am akin to a person who is getting a new lease on life. From a highly strung 2 packs a day smoker, I now living healthily. I didn't realize that when I walk towards the light, I am actually embracing health and happiness. For a good 39 years, I was a hardcore smoker. What a stupid thing to do.
As I mention to you, I was actually healing emotionally when I met you and Sarah. You in 2018 and Sarah in 2017. Although I made various attempts to quit smoking starting in 2012, I only managed to quit in 2019. Even that, I continued with the nicotine gum until 2020. Only in 2021, I can say that I am nicotine-free. All these are possible because of the emotional support from you both.
I was mentally ill because my body was not operating at the optimum. The rampant abuse leads to the neurotransmitters going haywire.
Well. I am taking corrective actions so that I am not merely existing but actually excelling.
I have my own equations:
The highest aim in life is health and happiness.
That means I have to be thin and fast.
To be thin and fast means weighing 55 kg and running 10 km/hour.
That is done through diet and exercise.
Diet is One Meal a Day (OMAD) Low Carbs High Fat (LCHF) and exercise is An Hour a Day (AHAD) either cardio or strength.
If I compress the equation then all these will lead to the realization that to be healthy and happy I need a sound mind and a sound body. A sound mind and a sound body are really the perpendicular reactions to diet and exercise.
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Therefore, my immediate focus throughout 2021 is to tune in my lifestyle so that I turn from Sharudin the Sloth into an Athlete4Life. That way I will still be running marathons when I am 100 like Fauja Singh, the world's oldest marathoner LOL. That will be nice, isn't it?
Notice, my model of success doesn't involve a lot of money. As a fact, having a lot of money is counterproductive to attain bliss.
By having a lot of money, I probably will not be focusing on health and happiness. I will be spending on more and more expensive acquisitions. Been there, done that sweetie. What I have now is perfect. Instead of money affluence, I am time affluence. If you follow The Science of Well-Being, developed by Professor Laurie Santos of Yale University, and a few similar courses in Coursera, money doesn't buy you happiness.
I am moving away from that model. Money is counter happiness.
Now that I think about it, I became seriously ill when I made my million. Yes, I have tons of money but at the same time, I have tons of pressure as well.
I like my life now. I have no debt. My house and cars are paid for. I have ample savings. The only thing is I cannot lavish because I don't have a monthly income. But seriously life is great.
So Els, although I have the intention to provide you with your dowry and nafkah (sustenance), by the look of things I will not be getting the PENJANA project. It is highly political. However, if I can conduct the courses as planned, I will proceed as planned. Alas, with the current political and economical situation now, I say that is a tough proposition for you.
You never know. However, looking at the Great Depression pattern, I would say this pandemic will affect the economy for at least 10 years.
Whatever the case may be, let's stay for the long haul. Let's look at 2041 or at least 2030. My Principal, Pal mentioned that he is preparing himself for the next 20 years. I had always been a long-distance runner, so I am game. Now is very difficult to forecast where the money is coming from. Even Pal only has 4 months of the financial reserve to play with.
OK baby, these are thoughts as I am becoming fat-adapted. Notice, it is very levelheaded.
I always love you and I hope I am not clapping with one hand.
Sine Cera,
15/1/21
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OK, I want to spend some time with you, Sarah.
First and foremost I apologize if I was being inconsiderate in my approach to you. When I made the decision, I was not in the right state of mind. I was depressed.
No[t] (Now) that I am OK again, I realized that we are meant to be with each other
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Sarah my darling wife, let's make 2021 our most memorable year in terms of breakthroughs.
Even without cigarettes, it took me 2 years to get here. All these years, the thing that holds me back are cigarettes.
mm
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